The growth of a girl into a woman, a princess into a queen, is not a liberal transition. Like any true creative flow, it is radical. That is not to say it is angry or harsh. But it is radical, the way truth is radical-and birth and art and real love and death. It changes things.
~ Marianne Williamson
Sometimes the voice of the Goddess comes as the maternal nurturer, the Great Mother- and at other times it comes as The Holy One, The Divine Lady Owl, the All-Wise One.
Those occasions can feel uncomfortable, humbling and stretching- but never shaming.
I've been sitting inside a kind of pressure cooker of the soul these past weeks- trying to digest and integrate new lessons and understanding that is coming to me, though my heart and mind sometimes feel reluctance at the new territory before me.
Within the turning of the sacred wheel of the year, I am feeling very much what I once would have described as the 'expansion of my tent borders'. The fabric is pulling, stretched tight, slick.
The wrinkles disappear from the old, comfortable, familiar way of seeing and my skin is taut, new, and a bit tender with it.
My eyes are still in the squinting stage- this new light is pretty bright- I am trying to adjust, and will- it only requires time and patience for awareness to fully enter my body and settle itself in for the long haul.
The first true message of my holy new year? Moving from princess to Queen. The capitalization here is important. It reveals the authority and status of the roles we occupy.
I have a real problem with the word princess, and I am the first to admit that this prejudice is probably somewhat unfair, as well as one-sided.
I suppose it might have begun with the realization at a very young age that my own name literally translates as 'princess'. I always hated that.
Yes, I took ballet lessons, but I also scraped my knees alongside my siblings building forts and throwing mud pies.
My vision of princess-hood consisted of an attitude of entitlement, excess, unawareness of the world around her highness... I really despised that.
As I grew older, my disdain of that word, that image, matured along with me, and I saw the princess syndrome all around me.
For many years I hated the color pink, frills, ribbons, pierced ears in baby girls..... the list goes on and on.
I was full of opinions and judgments about the princess disease in this over-indulged society.
So imagine my horror when I came to realize that I had been living in princess-hood myself.
We are not born Queens.
We are only allowed that title after earning it.
It is a conscious evolution.
Marianne Williamson writes~
A princess is a girl who knows that she will get there, who is on her way perhaps but is not yet there. She has power but she does not yet wield it responsibly. She is indulgent and frivolous. She cries but not yet noble tears. She stomps her feet and does not know how to contain her pain or use it creatively.
These past 10 years and more, I have been moving out of princess-hood- unconsciously at first, but somewhere deep inside knowing the journey had to be taken in order to move into deeper joy and authority and authenticity.
The journey from selfish to Selfhood is the journey of the Queen reclaiming her authority.
The princess asks and expects to receive, where the Queen decrees and then takes the necessary steps to implement her own words.
The princess awaits gifts and direction, while the Queen sets out of her own volition, creating the path before herself and those who would follow her- and there will always be followers of the Queen.
That is our destiny- to rule and create magic and heal our land with compassion and skill.
Queenly skill is obtained with time, patience, passion, committed sacred practice and the humility that attends a clear heart of love.
The Queen is not a petulant, sniping gossip who demands her way. She is regal, sovereign, noble, careful with others' lives. She is, ultimately, trustworthy and kind. She is a fierce ally.
This transformation of the daughter into the mother, the princess into the Queen, can be seen also through the archetypes of maiden, mother and crone.
All the roles and experiences are necessary in order to graduate and transform into the next, the deeper, the more aware, the more mature.
One cannot be Queen without having first been princess.
One may not be Empress and Crone without having been Queen Mother.
It is an endless cycle of wisdom and humility that continuously gives birth to the Divine.
We women contain them all- and we inhabit both roles simultaneously on most days- having moments of the petulant or beseeching princess, then stepping into our Queenly garb, healing others and ourselves with more noble tears.
I certainly am both, and can feel myself floating between the two regularly.
I am working, consciously now, to move into a more permanent state of Queenhood- I want more of my hours to be spent in that solid state of accessible authenticity, empathy with purpose- not just empathy that devastates the heart so deeply that paralysis occurs- helping nobody.
I want my tears, which are many and frequent, to be noble ones- watering a garden that will grow to feed others, not drowning me in self-pity or discouragement because my own plans did not take the shape I anticipated. Such is the attitude of the princess.
I want the lines on my hands and face to reflect the wisdom of years, the grace that accompanies such a journey, leaving a road map for others to mark their own journey- not a blemish-free landscape that overwhelms and defeats the traveler.
May we- you and I- move consciously into the castle of the Queen, leaving our pretty pink chambers behind for our daughters and their daughters to receive love and instruction.
May we peel away the filmy layers from our eyes, that we may see the princess for what she truly is- student, protege, apprentice to wisdom ways.
May we extend understanding and compassion for the princess instead of disdain and hatred.
May we develop the awareness that we, too, were once her, and sometimes still are, and continue to visit her from time to time within ourselves.
May we step into our power as Queen.
May we acknowledge, without cringing, our glory.
May we view ourselves with honesty and without apology.
Let us remember, with crystal awareness, Williamson's words~
The Queen is coming to reclaim her girls.